You never stop learning. Ever.
And I am so thankful that God made this so.
All I wanted was to grab a beer tonight with somebody, but that shouldn’t be the first or last solution to anything. It’d be nice to have a friend to accompany me at the bar for a drink, but there’s nothing more helpful or reassuring than knowing that God is our anchor. You don’t need alcohol, ice cream, or books to take your mind off of things, but rather the reminder of how God gives us steady peace at heart to set our minds on Christ.
And I am so thankful that He gave us people to tell us so. You can never assume what someone is going through or feeling, and it is one of the most humbling experiences to live out covenant love with another believer. Love can be tough love, but love nonetheless.
I hope God will continue to teach and give me a heart that is willing to learn with humility. And you too.
Good night friends.
I’ve never been the biggest fan of flowers, but I’ve never been a hater either. Although I personally think there are more meaningful or thoughtful gifts, I just realized how much I actually like having them in the house. They make the rest of the apartment come to life by bringing a little good ‘ol nature to the mix of books and appliances that inhabit our space. And I like these especially because they’re yellow—my favorite color (It makes me feel all warm and happy inside that I end up smiling on the outside).
Kevin was right about ‘the tree and the flower’; one does not serve a greater purpose than the other. A tree is not any better or more useful than a flower, but rather it just serves a different purpose. God gave us different roles, but distinct and purposeful ones. The struggle is just in learning how to carry out those roles amongst the confusion and chaotic mess of a world we live in.
The Perfect Day
Obviously nothing is perfect (except God), but this was pretty darn close. Erica and Jasmine decided to kidnap me for the day and took me to Westerly, RI after eating at Nick’s on Broadway. Funny, I think this was exactly the type of day that I needed- a real escape and break with my two dearest sisters here. I love them so much. No one else can understand why and to what extent except for God.
If I could describe you in one word, I would say you are beautiful. I know I have deemed Kim Ms. Beautiful Kim, but in my eyes you embody this word. Not just aesthetically (because you are definitely a PYT), but simply because of your heart. Oh how rare it is to find someone who loves as earnestly as you do.
I think it’s amazing how God has used your life to testify His glory and love. Truly, truly I say, praise God.
My older sister, my long lost sister whom I now have a relationship with because of our Sovereign Lord. You black, I’m asian. But I only see that now when I look at pictures of us together and try to look objectively. Where do I even begin with you. You are extremely unique and special. You frustrate me, I give you trouble, and we’re both crazy. But it works somehow. Because you love me and I love you.
Art Is My Therapy.
One of my favorite drawings is now in a pile of binders with pictures and steps on how to assemble a chocolate amenity. I placed it in the front cover of my binder because we were supposed to get our projects back the next day (the project was given so that we could use it as a personal reference in the future). Well things don’t always go according to plan, so now I have to go visit Chef in the fall to retrieve both my project and drawing back. It’s not too big of a deal, but I still remember when and why I drew it that night.
I had forgotten how much I enjoyed art until recently. When I went to Russia this spring break, Jake and I were in a painting workshop together. Although we were given a simple assignment, it was incredibly relaxing and fun. Just walking around in another country makes you pay more attention to the details of architecture, paintings, clothing patterns, etc. And I told myself to make more time for art when I got back to the U.S., but I never did until that night.
For months my friends have been telling me to take a break, even if that means stopping everything to sit down and doodle for 2 minutes. So I took that advice literally. I came home after a super long day and thought about all the preparations I still had left for the next day. But as I set down my knife kit and book bag, I saw the sketchpad that Jasmine gave me last year. I plopped down on the floor, blasted some good ol’ Evanescence and Paramore, and grabbed my Sharpie. I started to draw whatever came to my mind and tried to shift my focus from my aching body to this empty palette in front of me. After a good 20 or 30 minutes I stopped. I took a look at what I had dropped everything for and saw before me a tangible expression of my thoughts. It wasn’t like “Wow, I’m so good at drawing!”, but rather, “Wow, that felt so good.”
Some people find relief in exercising, playing video games, or watching t.v. Others love knitting or doing crossword puzzles. I like making my thoughts come to life. And that medium is usually through art. That’s why I love taking pictures, because you capture moments to help keep them alive after they’ve passed. And drawing reveals what I sometimes cannot see or understand until it has been laid out on paper. Crazy how a few lines and a pair of hands can speak to you huh?
So I just posted a few things I doodled throughout these past 2 weeks. Nothing too big, but they were each drawn at a time when I was thinking about a lot different things. Thanks to Melissa I now have this neat little pad to draw in wherever I go. It is my sanity, it is my friend.
It is my therapy.
Dear Heavenly Father,
You know everything, but I still want to share what’s inside because You deserve it. You deserve our whole hearts. We come to you in prayer when there is thanksgiving and joy, but whole means everything. So I give You my doubts and confusion as well.
RI… NY… or MA…?
It’s like choosing between Peanut Butter, Jelly, or Nutella.
Community, Career, or Chances?
God, I am struggling to ask You to make it for Your Will, Your Plan, and Your Glory.
In reality it’s more like My Insecurity, My Fear, and My Unbelief. I don’t want any more “if’s”. If this, if that, if we, if he, if I, if they, if she, and so on. If if if… no no no, no more. I don’t want that any more. Father, no more. Remove that from me.
Help me please.
Been in love with this song ever since I visited Hillsong NYC. The lyrics are simplistic, as are most Hillsong worship songs, but the imagery in this one is just so strong.